Raising Builders, Not Spenders

May 10 , 2025
By Eden Sahle

---

Raising Builders, Not Spenders

Over lunch recently, my husband and I sat with a young friend from one of Ethiopia’s wealthiest families. She was launching her own business, an ambitious venture, not a vanity project, despite having access to a family fortune worth billions of birrs.

Her parents urged her to take a comfortable seat in their sprawling empire. Instead, she is choosing a harder, riskier path: building something of her own. She accepted seed money, yes, but not as a cushion. It was a launchpad. She is working to earn her name, not just inherit one.

Despite being surrounded by vast family wealth, she is not waiting for a slice of the inheritance pie. She is grateful for the foundation her family laid, but she wants to write her own chapter in the family story; one built on vision, sweat, and personal conviction.

My friend enjoyed immense comfort growing up. She attended elite schools and studied abroad. But she was shielded from the hard decisions and risks her parents faced. Business conversations stayed behind closed doors. Her parents believed shielding their children from that pressure was an act of love. They assumed the wealth would be enough.

But she disagreed. Instead of living in the shadow of comfort, she chose ambition. She taught herself the value of work, risk, and persistence. She knows her privileges, access to capital, connections, and insight, but she wants her success to be earned, not assumed.

She is determined that the old saying, “shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations”, will not become her story. One generation builds, the next enjoys, the third often squanders. Not because the money disappears, but because the mindset that created it was not passed on.

She shared something that stuck with me: children born into wealth often grow up inside a curated world of luxury homes, private jets, and powerful networks. But if this environment is not paired with responsibility, it breeds an illusion that wealth is permanent, effortless, and deserved.

That illusion creates entitlement. And entitlement kills initiative.

When heirs grow up expecting wealth instead of earning it, they often become passive consumers rather than active builders. They inherit dividends but not discipline. They sign documents but do not understand the business behind them. When inevitable crises hit, recessions, competition, failure, they lack the grit to respond.

We have all heard stories: the disinterested heir who mismanages the family company into bankruptcy. The spender who sells off properties to fund an extravagant lifestyle. The empire that crumbles because no one knew how it was built.

That is what my friend is determined to avoid.

She understands that wealth, no matter how vast, is fragile. Without vision, discipline, and purpose, it fades quickly. That is why she believes wealth is not just about money, it is a mindset. And instilling that mindset must start early.

It is easy to give children comfort. It is harder to teach them how to create value. But if we want wealth to last, not just in accounts, but in capacity and contribution, we need to raise capable adults, not just rich kids.

That does not mean denying access to resources. It means giving with expectation. Children of wealth should be encouraged to launch their own ventures, businesses, foundations, creative projects. Even if family capital is the starting point, they must be the ones to shape it, grow it, and learn from the process.

Entrepreneurship, she says, is the best teacher. It demands decision-making, resilience, and humility. It shows you what failure tastes like, and how to rebuild after it. Whether the venture succeeds or not, the lessons are priceless.

Even those not inclined toward entrepreneurship can still add value, by innovating within the family business, expanding into new markets, or driving meaningful social impact. Whatever the path, the key is contribution. Do not just take. Build.

She believes children should be included in the story of how the wealth was built. Taken to factories, meetings, and back offices. Shown the sleepless nights and high-stakes decisions. Told the stories of failure and recovery. That is how they learn wealth is not magic, it is earned.

While studying abroad, she interned in companies to understand what made businesses tick. That exposure shifted her mindset. She deleted her flashy social media. She cut back on luxury spending. Not out of guilt, but clarity. She realized the real flex is not what you buy. It is what you build.

We need to start celebrating young people like her; not for spending wealth, but for multiplying it. That is the legacy worth applauding.

Because wealth is a tool. It can liberate, or it can entrap. It can empower a generation, or ruin it. The difference lies in whether we pass on not just assets, but the ability to create value.

If we want generational wealth to endure, not just in bank balances, but in purpose, skill, and contribution, we must teach the next generation not just to inherit it, but to earn their place within it.

The greatest inheritance is not money. It is mindset.

---

PUBLISHED ON May 10,2025 [ VOL 26 , NO 1306]

---

[ssba-buttons]